That's how I feel this morning. I'm about to leave for my part time job, where I'm spending time as a chef in kitchen, and I feel like I'm heading to something unfulfilling. Sure, it's something I enjoy doing, it's a hobby to me. It where I go when I want to express myself and be creative. But to do it for 8 hours a day, I'm finding, is not something that's filling me up.
I remember when I agreed to the job, I said I wanted to spend time in the kitchen because it was a place where I could cook and be meditative. I still feel that way about it. I feel that this is what cooking is for me. I think we all have hobbies that calm us down, help us sort out our unconscious, and get back to being ourselves.
It's good to have these activities. Not everyone can meditate or sit through yoga. Some need to be active to calm their minds. I have family members who do all their thinking while cleaning. It works for them.
Mine is cooking. Right now, I'm devoting twenty hours a week to it. But I'm getting itchy. I need to be fulfilled. I need to start on the path of getting to a place where I know I'll be fulfilled.
I'm learning that my hobby is not my calling. It's my hobby.
I'm okay with that.
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